Chaka Demus and Pliers – I Wanna Be Your Man

Release Date: June 94
Chart Position: 19


NOOOOOOOOOOOO, Chaka, Pliers, wtf? This isn’t good boys.
I still don’t know what this is, R&B, Jazz lounge, Swedish club music? I thought I had clicked on the wrong link when this came on. After a quick look, nope that’s it. Chaka Demus and Pliers sounding like Boys to Men. Why they can’t stick to what they know and dominate, I will never know. Sometimes it’s ok to think outside of the box but this is one of those ideas that really should have been left well alone. Where is the oversight? Who is responsible for this pish? Someone needs to be held accountable and dealt with appropriately.
The song starts off slow and doesn’t pick up the tempo as it meanders on through to it’s conclusion. A steady bassline throughout is monotonous and tiring. Pliers is out of his comfort zone and it shows. Chaka sounds like he’s starting to feel the effects of being hit in the arse with an elephant tranquilizer, he tries to make it bearable with his rap but he’s fading fast towards the end. The song then fizzles out at the end with no real conclusion.
I’m sorry CD & P, this is not what we’ve become accustomed to. I’ve put about as much effort into this review as they put into this song.
3.5/10 – next please


What the hell is this shit? I don’t remember it and glad I don’t as it has not made my life better. I fear we have now really seen the best of Chaka and Pliers, I was hoping that they had one last epic in them, sadly not. It’s an empty soulless effort that I am sure they both regret. I imagine that when they looked back on the whole affair it was a little bit like waking up in the morning with massive hangover fear; not wanting to admit that you actually exist and cowering in a corner from the rest of society. It feels as though it should have been made for a film? Was it on the Boomerang soundtrack? I can imagine Eddie Murphy’s character, Marcus, strolling through NYC to this, pondering on which woman to bang next, Robin Givens or Halle Berry; life is tough sometimes!!
The toasting does not go with the rest of the track! It’s like that bit was written for another song and it somehow all got mixed up by accident.
No video (or not one in the link I saw and was in no mood to go and hunt for one), that always loses points with me.
Sorry boys but no good; 2/10

So I arrive back at Neggae towers from the pub after playing 5s, feeling pretty good after a couple of Red Stripes and looking forward to getting a jif on the go whilst kicking back with me bredren. I walk into a hotbed of political debate centred around the use of social media and its role in publicising radical organisations, buzzkillers. I decide to retire to the Study with a Rum and Rubicon to cheer myself up with of Neggae’s equivalent of Simon and Garfunkel, Chaka Demus and Pliers, unfortunately this is their ‘Cecilia’ moment. Right from the start you know something’s up, with the budget swingbeat intro and you sense their foreboding about this track with the rather Frank Spencer like ‘oooh dear’, never a good sentiment to open a song with.
By this point I’m reaching for the service revolver, what the hell is this? Boys I’m not only angry I’m also disappointed, suddenly discussing the recent benefit cuts seems a viable option. Pliers starts in with some pseudo Johnny Gillesque crooning about wanting to be someone’s man, bit gay, at least Chaka will save it with some cheeky toasting. Here he comes and he’s talking about marriage and shit, this isn’t neggae this is a Mumsnet wet dream. The production is lazy, the lyrics are dull and they’ve not even made a video, which indicates their hearts aren’t in it, understandable.
I can’t waste any more of my precious time on this dross – 1/10

Another NewJack-Reggae crossover – this drips with that US sound. As I’ve complained elsewhere on this blog, the Swingbeat-slash-reggae crossover genre is definitely less than the sum of its parts. I can only assume that this was an exercise in making the debut LP as appealing to as broad an audience as possible.
Murder She Wrote was jumped upon in the UK – and smashed it from Club to Carnival. Why? Because thanks to a proactive West Indian community, us Brits have become schooled with impeccable reggae taste. This plastic platter fared better in the US; its sophisticated sheen appealing to the aspirational black and white folk alike. For me this dichotomy sums up who gets reggae and who doesn’t in the Special Relationship.
As for the song itself, it’s more like Mehder She Wrote. Wishy-washy synth chords, Fisher-Price beats. Awful. I can’t fault Pliers’ sweet vocals again – but ChakaDemus might has well have paged in his toasting; he’s borderline Shabba with the lack of his invention.
This is the beginning of the end for ChaPliers – but my what an innings they’ve had. Better to blaze brightly than vape away (or something).

Score: Unfortunately a whimpering 3/10.

Whoah there, what the hell is this?
The less said about this effort from Neggae’s favourite sons the better. I wanna be your man isn’t one I remember from first time around. Looking at my reminder inbox I was excited to see a Chaka and Pliers single that I don’t quite recall. How wrong I was.
This one falls a long way left of the Neggae mainstream and can be filed under smoltzy swing beat. Theres no Neggae elements involved apart from Chaka’s toasting which doesn’t really offer anything new. Pliers crooning is silky and soulful as ever but unfortunately the song is boring and plods along like an old Keith Sweat number.
Sadly theres nothing real about the song and it has to go down as an album filler. Whether it goes down to a Post carnival hang over, a heavy weekend on the Malta, or just a mis-guided swoon for one of Pliers many lady friends, lets just chalk this one up to a bad day at the office and say no more about it. I think the boys deserve a day off after all.

4 out of 10 for some Stirling vocals. Thats the only positive I can draw. Lets move on…..



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