Shabba Ranks feat. Patra & Terri & Monica ‎– Family Affair

Release Date: Dec 93
Chart Position: 18

Gouldy
If nothing else I have to give this twat some credit for his persistence, it seems like every other week I look at the entry for the Hot 90 and take a sigh as yet again I’m forced to sit through another 4 minutes of the strutting sex pest. This week was particularly filling me with dread as he’s covering a stone cold classic by Sly and the Family Stone, which he has the potential to really make a mess off and not being one to let you down he takes out little Shabba and Ranks all over the song.  Right at the intro the bassline kicks in and seems very familiar, reminds me of ‘Good Times’ which is pretty clever as I’ve never heard it sampled before. I’m sure in the boardroom of such companies like P+G this is described as ‘looking backwards to go forwards’ but in the court of neggae it gets a verdict of lazy, uninspired shit.
The lyrics for once aren’t about Shabba’s questionable seduction techniques, which is pleasing really with the song being called ‘Family Affair’ as it’s finally found the line that Shabba won’t cross in pursuit of sowing his seeds of rape, basically Ched Evans rates as ‘G’wan’ whilst Fritzl even invokes a ‘Nah mon’ from Shabba. Patra pops in half way through for a standard bit of toasting, which is ok but it’s going to take more than that to lift this humdrum effort. The video looks like it’s gone for the classic American RNB video look of that time but with a tenth of the budget and was apparently directed by Underwhelming Williams, Hype’s less talented brother. It looks like the video was shot in America which may explain why Shabba has toned down his clothing a bit, shredded white leather jump suits don’t cut it on Staten Island son. The most positive thing about the video is that the villains from Superman 2 seem to have adjusted to their circumstances and decided to deal with eternal imprisonment by starting happy multicultural families, bravo General Zod and friends.
Score: Like all affairs this is ultimately a cheap and ill conceived idea – 1/10
shabba-ranks-family-affair-album-version-polydor

Norm
The highs and lows of Neggae couldn’t be more apparent than Shabba’s feeble effort this week and Chaka Demus and Pliers stunning tune last week! Mr Ranks has been a top contributor to the Hot 90, popping up every few weeks with varying degrees of success. Unfortunately  it appears that his offerings have become stale, boring and far too easy to predict.
So this song was paired up with the Addams Family film in 1993, perfect, I couldn’t think of a better combination than these two. Shocker of a film, shocker of a song. I base my description of the film on the trailer as I haven’t seen it, nor do I want to, so it automatically falls into the category of shocker. I’ve listened to this song exactly twice (8 minutes and 4 seconds) to see if it would get any better or if I was missing something. Nope, it’s still bad and doesn’t have many redeeming qualities.
The video is as good as Shabbas rapping… coarse, grainy and low budget. Enough said about that.The vocals and bassline are predictable, Patra doesn’t do much to add to it. So, enough said about that, too.
Score: Let’s move on to next week – 2/10.

Jonny
It’s a Family Affair; great original track, terrible cover!
It’s nothing more than Shabba toasting over the bassline combined with a synthesized chorus and the Patra chick adds pretty much nothing to the whole shambles. It seems to start and end nowhere; the start, middle and end are exactly the same! Its boring, cheap, easy, lazy, I could go on and on but I can’t be bothered.
What on earth is the video about? One minute it looks to be a home made wedding video, next it’s some urban try hard nonsense! All crap.
Score: Sorry Shabba, It’s a f*cked up affair – 1.5/10

Jamie
Oh hello Shabby, your back again! and what have you come as this time?
What a tool.
It seems our old friend Shabba Ranks has gone away and had another identity crisis. Or is it a calculated homage to 90’s Hollywood icon Wesley Snipes? After rolling out his Simon Phoenix cossy in the video to Slow and Sexy with Johnny Gill, it would appear that Shabbs has come back in his new Wesley Snipes outfit. It’s clearly modelled on Nino Brown, the Drug King pin from New Jack City (Mario Van Peebles directorial debut.) He even parades around with pride in front of a tower block in the video, which no doubt is full of naked crack heads running around fighting over a ten bag.
It seems Shabba’s been to the Kriss Kross dance school in his spare time as well. Except he’s slightly off the mark with his Jump Jump Jazz hands manoeuvre.
All in all its a poor offering, Shabba Ranks doing s murky Swing beat , Nu Jack offering. Its not Neggae, no matter how many boss eyed Jamaican hard girls turn up and start spitting lyrics over it. The video’s cheap, tries to go all all artsy towards the back end when they run out of ideas. The whole mirror thing looks like it was done on Hewlett Packard Video editor.
The beats are cheap, the music synthetic and abhorrent. Not surprising that this song was used for the OST of the Adams Family 2. A mutant of a film that nearly made my eyes bleed. A long host of stars have covered this song, Iggy Pop, John Legend, Joss Stone to the name buy a few. Shabba is bottom of the pile and a long way behind.
A family affair? What would your mother think?
Score: 2

Vince
Ugh, Shabba again. The proverbial fart in the lift of Neggae. I swear I lose a day of my life every time I have to listen to his music. I’ve noticed he loves a ‘feat.’, his only real solo effort so far has been Mr. Loverman – maybe his record company thought he could hide in the background or something.
By this point in his career Shabba had cracked the States, and thus his music was more NY than JA. And with the help of US producers and perfomers, he was dogged in his pursuit to create the perfect Neggae-Swingbeat hybrid banger. Unfortunately for him, he lacked the pop nouse to do it and it had already been done by the Teddy Riley and Apache mandem here.
Patra/Terri/Monica are nice on the eye and the ear, but that’s it. The video’s awful. The only redeeming feature in the whole thing is the use the bassline from Vaughan Mason & Crew’s Bounce, Rock, Skate, Roll. After looking up the producer, I was pleasantly surprised to discover it was an early effort from super-producer Salaam Remi. He actually crops up on the Neggae Hot 90 quite a few times (best Neggae Producer of all time anyone?) – with the last being on the godawful Slow & Sexy. He will later go on to produce the Neggae masterpiece Here Comes the Hotstepper. I therefore take comfort from the fact that he was getting better with every release, and that this song paid some of his rent and put some food in his belly.
Score: 3/10, Salaam Alaikum.

NEGGAE SCORE: 1.9

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