Chaka Demus & Pliers – She Don’t Let Nobody

Release Date: June 93
Chart Position: 3

The opening lines to this song solve one of the great pop mysteries; it’s up there with;

  • Paul McCartney dying;
  • Marilyn Manson starring in the Wonder Years and
  • The continuing success of Will I Am.

The line is ‘All day a gwan and I run round the world Like I can’t get my girl’, clearly it was Chaka Demus that Lisa Stansfield was searching for, yet due to unpredictability of global travel in the nineties it appears the two star struck lovers were destined to continually pass each other like ships in the night.
On to the song, the production isn’t my favourite by them but it’s a pleasant enough Lover’s Rock sound and reminds me of early school discos in North London. Towards the end of the night after driving the crowd wild with favourites by Musical Youth, Junior and Smiley Culture (plus a bit of Madness for the special needs kids), the tempo would drop and you’d approach the girl of your dreams who’d take one look at your hand knitted (by Grandma) blue jumper with Spurs scrawled across the front, laugh, then go off with the bloke sporting a Le Shark jumper twinned with a Fila polo. I’ve had the last laugh though, I’m sitting here sporting a Pringle jumper as I type, true fact.
Lyrically I have a bit of a problem with the phrasing, it might be me not understanding the patois but I’ve watched loads of episodes of Desmond’s so it’s doubtful. It’s the ‘let’ bit that bothers me, not ‘want’ but ‘let’, which doesn’t seem to be the most stable basis for a relationship and to me it looks like the whole thing’s been built on a house of cards. Maybe she’s a good cook?
The video is standard neggae, blue sea, white beach, neggae chicks, the lot. Whilst Chaka Demus has dressed appropriately for the occasion I’m less sure of Pliers attempting his ‘Clockwork Orange’ homage, it’s messing with my gulliver. This man’s fishing technique is also confusing, as it seems to be simply tying a fishing net to your genitalia and then wandering about, I haven’t seen this happening in Grimsby.
It’s a pleasant enough song overall, nothing earth shattering and probably appealed to the hormonally challenged section of the neggae fanbase.
Score: 6.5/10 – quite harsh but these boys are capable of better.

Now, that’s what I call Neggae! The smooth and silky Chaka Demus and Pliers are back at it with this tropical delight. We’ve had some pretty dreary weather here recently so listening to this put me in a much better mood instantly. Pliers has some seriously pure vocals that are complemented beautifully by Chaka Demus’ change of pace island rap.
This isn’t a complicated song, just our Jamaican friends pinging out a Top of The Pops fave! Great video, not over the top (*cough* *cough* Shabba) and not too boring (*cough* *cough* UB40) – I think that this one deserved to reach a little higher in the charts to be honest. This never gets old – easy island listening encapsulated!
Score: Put me down for 8 Chaka’s and half a Plier (8.5)

After the dizzy heights of Tease me, Demus and Pliers knew they were onto something. There was no way they were going to top their debut smash hit so instead they opted to calm down the frenzy with a second more melancholic single.
I think if they were going to choose any ballad it had to be this one. Curtis Mayfield’s original oozed soul. Released in 1981, he swooned his loved one yet had the tongue in cheek swagger to mention how he liked to kiss her explicitly. The lyrics see the protagonists paying homage to their ladies for the fact that she continually turns down the advances of other would be partners in favour of our boys. The song is reproduced tastfuly, no dutty grinding lyrics, no crotch grabbing, no bragging about sexual prowess or degrading of women. Just as you would expect from the standard bearers of Neggae.
The Video sticks to the plan. The boys are smiling and admiring the objects of thier affection whilst donning some suitably Caribbean attire. Again, nothing bolshy, just a laid back half groove and some deftly delivered lyrics from Pliers.
On the downside, its a short number, there’s actually less of a song than the original and some verses have been removed. To be honest its not such a bad thing, the original does get boring half way through.
This song was a Steady Eddie follow up to Tease Me from the Neggae Champions. Nothing more, nothing less. The good thing is they didn’t follow up with “Please me (basically Tease Me but with a slight key and melody change and some slightly different lyrics). You cant really ask for much more than that, as we all know that there was still good stuff to come from Chaka Demus and Pliers.
Score: There are better, there’s also many worse. 7 out of 10 from me.

In the Neggae realm, Chaka Demus and Pliers are like the Beatles, Manyoo and TeenWolf all rolled into one. They’re just too good. When we complete this biblical journey, I will be very surprised if they’re not in the final top 10 at least three times. As current league leaders of Neggae, their sophomore release had a lot to live up to. And, while there’s no denying it’s a pleasant and lovely little ditty, for me it just doesn’t quite cut the Levi Roots Reggae Reggae Relish. I’ll tell you for why.
It’s too long for starters – four minutes of verse/chorus/toast feels like eight. Much of reggae’s charm is its simplicity – so I wasn’t expecting a middle eight or a coda. However, a furious dancehall breakdown would have been nice. And when you’ve got the vocal guns of Chaka Demus on your team, I would say it should be mandatory. It’s a very limited perfomance from the big man, with him seemingly sidelined to the role of Shakespearean Neggae narrator, translating Pliers’ wordy romantic plight into the native island tongue for the common man to understand . Or somesuch shit.
You get the feeling this slushy, romantic direction is Pliers’ idea, and Chaka’s given him too much leeway. There’s barely any riddim in it, and its bereft of the clever sampling and crazy cat meows that dazzled us on Tease Me. Continuing the Beatles theme mentioned earlier, this is like one of the latter songs in the Lennon-McCartney canon when John couldn’t be arsed to rein Paul’s sacharine sweet tendencies. OK, so it’s not quite bad enough to be their Maxwell’s Silver Hammer, it’s more like their Honey Pie. I hope Chaka had a little team-talk with Pliers after this.
The video’s OK – a lot of soft-focus holiday brochure shots of beautiul girls and sweeping landscapes. The rustic set reminds me of the BBC, El-Dorado-meets-Desmonds  comedy crime caper Death in Paradise. I kept imagining Ben Miller will crop up and perform some sort of pratfall into the sea, which, if I’m being honest, spoilt it all a little.
Score: I dunno, a 6? Yeah, 6 seems fair I guess.

I have mixed feelings on this one.
It all starts so nicely with some strong intro toasting, roasting and boasting and leads you to believe you’re in for a great track. It even fills you with that nice warm, nostalgic feeling when you recognise a tune and reminisce all the great times you had when it was out. Unfortunately, this feeling soon fades and after about 90 seconds it starts to get pretty repetitive.
It’s the type of song that when it gets played in a club you get the immediate urge to hit the D-Floor, but you’re soon left in an awkward state as you realise that there is actually not much to it. There is only so far the head bobbing and miming of the lyrics will carry you,  leaving you with no option but to retreat to the safety of the bar area. Don’t get me wrong the chorus is beautifully delivered, but even that gets pretty dull after realising there is not much else to it apart from the occasional rap to break it up.
The video is nice, but that’s about it. It’s bit like a Thomas Cook or Sandals advert for an all-inclusive holiday. I am almost half-expecting the Redknapps to appear with a horse out of the surf. Finally thrown in the video mix is some fishing ‘island style’, which unfortunately I find all too manufactured.
Score: 6/10 for me 



UB40 – Higher Ground

Release Date: Aug 93
Chart Position: 8

For me, this is the UB’s best effort on the Neggae Hot 90. An uplifiting paean to positivity and knowledge, it echoes their benevolent, socially conscious early works such as King or Don’t Let it Pass You By. Cracking wordplay from Ali Campbell – is it just me or does it  recall the English folk rhyme The wise old owl?

Swap out the YowBee’s words for said owlrhyme. Repeat last three words in first three lines. Sing. It will make you happy.
Musically its great too; a pretty complex riddim with tasteful keys and brass flourishes, underpinned by bass and tabla. It calls to mind the gem of a tune that is When I see you Smile by Singing Sweet. If there are any other reggae songs you can think that are similarly uplifting and Indian-influnced let us know – I’ve christened this sub-genre Rajjae.
This was UB’s first hit after the shill-out that was I Can’t Help Falling in Love With You so it’s a massive return to artistic form in my eyes. It’s as if Ali and the lads are saying, “Look – we’ve all got bills to pay and covering Elvis certainly cleared the credit cards BUT THIS IS WHAT WE’RE ALL ABOUT.”
The video is perfectly acceptable, and I love the Indian dancing – pretty interesting that last week we had someone of Indian origin Indian delivering a Bawdy, bluebeat-inspired jam and this week it’s flipped 180. It’s Dylan going electric and the Beatles going Dylan. It’s the Stone Roses borrowing from Young MC, and then themselves getting sampled by RUN DMC. This is what was happening in the fertile scene that was Neggae and that’s why we loved it.
Score: A joyous 9 from me.

Unlike their last effort this isn’t a cover, despite sharing a title with a Stevie Wonder classic, in my eyes ‘Higher ground’ wins the category of ‘best song title which has more than one version but isn’t a cover’ (they usually do award this in the ad break at the Brits) narrowly beating;


I digress. Admittedly I’d always assumed this was a song from earlier in their career, it wouldn’t sound out of place on ‘Labour of Love’, although not being a cover it would seriously flaw the whole concept of that album. The sound is classic Yowbee behavior with an ethereal organ intro followed by the sweet vocals of Neggae’s Al Green, the Reverend Ali Campbell. The beat is unobtrusive but fits well with the general tempo of the song and then Ashley Cole and his mates kick in with the Yowbee horn section (a must for any band worth its salt). The lyrics are some seriously spiritual shit brar, sweet and romantic as opposed to the usual verbal sexual assault which seems prevalent in the neggae community; this is the Neggae equivalent of Shelley whilst the likes of SHABBA! sound like Richard Digance with a sex addiction and whacked out on goofballs and fizzers.
The video’s pretty bog standard, at first I thought they’d gone all Apache Indian but then it becomes clear Ali has lost his security guard gig at the Peacocks and got a new one in Sheffield guarding the derelict building featured in the ‘Full Monty’. The boys were all big fans of ‘The Matrix’ which is reflected in their clobber. I’m not really sure about all the different cutaways as it’s all a bit ‘Benetton’,  although I’m sure they signify something about the rich tapestry of love and life which will become more apparent to me as I travel further down the neggae path to spiritual enlightenment. Overall I can’t fault this as it’s the yowbs doing what they do best, making classic Brum reggae.
Score: 10/10 – it’s the Lord’s prayer of Neggae

1 – The Beatles song was called ‘I want you (she’s so heavy)’, I believe this is the first footnote used on the neggae blog, you are literally witnessing history people.

Higher Ground is a nice track, to begin with anyway.
Nice Synths as an intro, good vocals from Ali Campbell followed by a stuttering carnival style drum break sound which became synonymous with UB40 in the 90’s. It chugs along nicely for 16 bars and seems to be going somewhere but then sadly it seems to run out of puff. Its almost as if this was unfinished. No bridge, no key change no next level. Kudos to UB40 for Original artistry in a Sticky Neggae period filled with covers, mash ups and rip offs. Unfortunately however my interest in this release waned after the opening gambit.
On to the video.
Much like the song itself its inoffensive, safe and slightly MOR if you ask me. Some ethnic diversity in the various dancers on show. Obviously paying homage to the UB’s Brummie roots; the B-Side to the single also contained a Punjabi edit. Other than the dancers you have a lady staring down from the stars. A common theme at the time. I remember Simply Red, creating a similar scene in his Stars Video.
That aside you have the UB’s doing a dad skank in a freight yard, dressed in some rather odd Matrix style get up. Most of whom look slightly uncomfortable, apart from Morpheus and Apok on horns who relish the chance to throw some 9 o ‘clock at a wedding shapes.
A nice song, but for me, not one to blow your socks off or really evoke any type of strong emotion or nostalgia. Unlike these 2 New BFFs on tinternet below, which I noticed in the comments thread on the song’s YouTube page…

l8m8c – 9 months ago
this song reminds me of my dad, i remember him singing this through the house while i followed him round listening as a little girl, he was so happy, now its been years since i saw him and he is remarried and left the country, i miss him alot but everytime i hear this song it feels like he’s right there and it makes me smile, funny what you remember as a kid. i love you dad! ·

waytoroh – 2 weeks ago
can you go find him? how old are you? you deserve to meet him again. this is the saddess thing i’ve read ever! maybe he doesnt want to meet you, maybe he does but u have the right to know. go find him i’ll help you a total stranger but this is crazy go find him!

Score: a steady 7 from me

Classic UB40 fodder that is right to have its place on the top 90; but not their best in my opinion. Don’t get me wrong I like UB40 and this continues to demonstrate their strength in this area. The vocals are beautiful and the melody is easy going and simple to get into. It’s all backed up by a pretty basic synthesizer and horn section – all in line with expectation from the outfit from Birmingham. However the verses are far too subdued for my liking, it peaks nicely at the chorus but the fall back to the slow drone of the core of the tune and makes it feel like it never ends. If there was a top 90 for hotel lobby or elevator tunes then this would a big hit and probably the opening track.
The video compliments the nondescript song nicely moving between the band doing their happy go lucky thing in a yard to a strange mix of exotic dancers in a studio – which I like, but not sure about the trapeze act? I do however always like to recognise the use of a keytar and this should be encouraged.
Score: 6/10 from me that only gets that much as its UB40.

Higher ground from the 1993 album “Promises and Lies” is a good ‘un! After listening to it a few times more recently, I feel it comes across quite organic, for lack of a better word. Ali Campbell’s vocals are soft and comforting with his usual midland reggae tones are backed up nicely by the rest of the UB40 crew. Excellent use of the sax and red guitar shaped keyboard (I presume that the keyboard is responsible for the synthetic bassline) keeps the tune moving along at a steady pace.
The video is of standard UB40 fare, basic and not very interesting. Black overcoats, denim jeans mixed in with little to no activity from the band is a little uninspiring. I didn’t fully understand the Indian dancers, although the one doing the robot was fairly entertaining. I certainly didn’t like the bird on the cloud or the bird on the swing. Pish…..
Bottom line UB40 – keep singing and stop making low budget shite videos!
Score: Mark me down for a 6.5 /10. Good song, not so good vid.


Apache Indian – Nuff Vibes E.P (Boom Shak A Lak)

Release Date: Aug 93
Chart Position: 5

Apache Indian was firing on all cylinders by this point, with an EltonJohnesque 4 singles released in 9 months. And to top it off, with this effort he released a 4 track EP! We will not see him for another two Neggae years on this blog; he literally neggaed himself out, the poor sod. In this post, we are going to concentrate on the money track on the Nuff Vibes EP, the one you saw for weeks on end on The Chart Show – Boom-shak-a-lak.
Apache had put the hours in for the Neggae cause so was due a payday. Up until Boom-Shak-a-lak, his music was a fine blend of I and I and Mumbai, with traditional Indian instruments being complimented with Western black beats. As I’ve said before in this blog, this was ahead of it’s time and the likes of Punjabi MCTimbaland and DJ Quik clearly owe Steve Kapur some props. His lyrics were rich with knowledge and humour, and his loyal fanbase ensured he charted but never troubled the top ten. That changed with Boom-shak-a-lak, and I imagine it shifted enough units to clear not only his mortgage, but his Mum and Dad’s too. And good for him.
By and large, Boom-shak-a-lak is a replica of Oh Carolina. Same boing noise, same backing vox, same piano chords. EXACTLY the same drum roll. It’s doesn’t cleverly sample an old bluebeat record, rather just riffs around on the standard 12-bar blues. This probably saved Apache a few quid in royalty payouts, and bearing in mind the song has since been used in over 70 adverts will have hopefully repaid him handsomely.
I wish a bit more care was taken over some of the production. I can’t stand the flangey keyboard horn effect he’s used AGAIN instead of a real horn section. Even sampled horns would have sounded better. And the guitar solo is unnecessary; as far as I can see all it does is make the song four minutes long rather than three. The song would also be improved by a middle eight of some sort; the whole Carolina come bubble ‘pon me’ is the pop magic that has Shaggy sitting at number 2 in the Neggae Hot 90.
But there are some great moment here too. The bassline and beats huge – when you hear this in a club you know about it. Apache Indian’s dancehall growl is great; no modal Indian vocalisms on this track – we are firmly at the reggae end of the Banghramuffin Sliding Scale. And finally, “boom-shak-a-lak” – what a catchphrase! Sounds Jamaicanish… Quite similar too Booyakasha as pedalled by Ali G years later. If Apache came up with that himself I’m impressed, as are Nando’s – the turn of phrase is currently advertised all over the windows of the Woking branch.
a payday 7 – now go and have a lie down Steven.

So, Apache Indian shows up again on the Neggae Hot 90 with an absolute diamond. It appears that our Banghramuffin boy from Birmingham has been influenced by Shaggy on this one; deep, gravelly voice with a slightly slower tempo compared to Apache’s usual velocity.
The video may leave a little to be desired and in any another circumstance may detract from the scoring, but I have “bought in” to Apache Indian from the get go and fully appreciate his diverse and fresh approach. The cheese factor is acceptable and doesn’t go over the top. I do struggle to correlate the theme of video to the lyrics but the song is powerful enough for me to rate highly.
I enjoyed this from start to finish. Plenty of head bobbing material here, a must at a BBQ, have a lilt, better yet crack open a Cobra, wind ya body and enjoy Apache step up and nail it.
Chalk me up for a solid 8/10.

You can’t deny Apache Indian’s contribution to the British Neggae scene, I believe this is his 4th entry in the Neggae top 90, which makes him the most regular Brit in the Hot 90 narrowly beating Maxi Priest, proving that in the court of Neggae justice will be served. The intro brings it in nicely and sets the tone for the song, nothing too serious, something to stick on about an hour after you’ve eaten at the BBQ as bogling on a full stomach is even more dangerous than swimming.
The beat comes in, then, what’s that I hear? Yes, it’s sampling ‘Oh Carolina’, firmly cementing the Shaggy classic as the source for neggae, much like ‘Apache’ with Hip Hop. Overall the production is decent, not very Neggae or Indian it must be said, in fact it sound s a bit like something Fatboy Slim or Bentley Rhythm Ace might have churned out. Lyrics are standard Apache fair, a bit cheeky but nothing like some of our previous entries which are verging on lyrical rape.
The video starts off with clips of Apatch in India, where frankly he seems to be held in papal like reverence, why the f*ck he came back to England I don’t know, the man was a living god. The stadium scenes are akin to Ben Richards coming back to finish off Killian in ‘The Running Man’. It then cuts back to Apatch in some kind of warehouse recreating a very low budget musical with a chorus of dancing girls behind him. I’m not sure what Apatch is wearing in this video, it looks like he went into a spending frenzy at the Orange Juice rail in Cheapjacks. Overall this tune is alright, not earth shattering but not one you’d skip past either.
Score: 7/10

Another one of those magical moments on this crazy journey and by far and away Apache’s best effort and a million miles from the Chok There car crash. The charts don’t lie.. well not often… OK quite often… but not in this case. Very unlucky to only get to No 5 and not take top spot but it did have Take That in their prime, Freddie Mercury, and Jazzy Jeff to contend with. All in all there was some pretty good stuff around in Aug 93!
The song is simply genius. A great 20sec intro tied up with a ‘BOING’ as we drop right into it and it all goes off left, right and centre. The Bhangra (of which I have never been a massive fan of preferring the reggae end of the Bhangramuffin spectrum) is mental as Apache roars us through it by growling unfathomable lyrics to an electrifying bass line. The melody actually goes nowhere, but we don’t want or need it to, it can stay in the same beautiful place all day without getting in the slightest bit boring and the guitar riff at around 2mins 15secs just adds even more class to this dancehall masterpiece.
The video is all over the place, but so is the song. Moving swiftly between studio Booty action to library footage of Apache being cool to basic large Boom-Shak-A-Lack font being plastered up at the chorus. Not too much imagination, but we’ll forgive him due the strength of the track.
Boom-Shak-A-Lack was on both the Clueless and Dumb and Dumber soundtracks – need I say more?
Score: Boom-Shak-a-9/10 from me.

I seem to remember liking this record a lot when it came out first time around. I would have been 11 years old and it was a tough time for my family. We were bouncing around a lot being semi homeless and I think at this particular point in time I would have been living somewhere on the borders of Maybury. Either in a half way house or as a lodger with some oddballs that my parents new from The Woking Workingmen’s club.
Maybury is the home of the Sha Jahan, Britain’s first Mosque and therefore the centre of Woking’s large Asian Community. I seem to remember playing a lot of Bread Crate Cricket this Summer and this song was very popular with a lot of the in field. It is slightly unnerving as a batsman, when a fielder is “winding his body” and “wriggling his belly” in the slips when your waiting for a fast ball. Not too dissimilar to the psyche outs in Baseketball.
Listening to the song now however I’m not sure I have the same level of admiration for it. We’ve done a number of Apache Indian reviews and with this one I definitely feel he’s on a rather sharp decline. The song basically takes the formula of Shaggy’s Oh Carolina and tries to replicate, all be it with an increased tempo.

  • The off beat Guitar riff is the same.
  • The drum roll is practically the same.
  • The haunting backing vocals are ripped off.

Then rather than just make Oh Carolina *2 , Team Apache thought they’d be ironic and whack in a cartoon “boing” sound effect. This replaces the boxing bell you hear in Oh Carolina but to much less musical and more of a comical effect.
To top it all, when the song runs out of steam and direction around the 2 minute mark, somebody decides to chuck in a crazy electric guitar solo.  What the hell has that got to do with Apache Indian or the Patois/Bangra crossover Culture he represents?
Clearly stuck for ideas himself Apache then decides to join in the whacky, madcap frivolity. What the hey? Surfs up Dude! He gets out a really small air Banjo and starts having a good old strum. Not sure if he actually has to look down to concentrate on his nonsensical finger plucking or he’s just getting carried away with the moment. The gurn he’s pulling kind of suggests that he’s actually loving it.  I’m sure he’d look back now clutching his face with both hands in disbelief.
From this point on you’ve got the standard English Girl, Indian Girl, American Girl A.N.Other girls ranting. This could go on and on, luckily they get bored themselves and knock it on the head after 3 and a half minutes.
Score: All a bit too fraudulent for my liking. Not his best work . 4 out of 10.


Ali and Frazier – Uptown Top Ranking

Release Date: Aug 1993
Chart position: 33

Sorry for the delay, and a Happy New Year to all you Neggae fans. We’ve got some absolute delights coming up in the next few weeks, but let’s get this abomination out the way first.
Opportunistic tosh. Denigrates a reggae classic. Rushed to market to capitalize on the burgeoning Neggae movement (and did so with moderate success). Dogsh*t video. Ridiculous samples that make no f*cking sense whatsoever. It’s as if the song was produced via some massive sample fruit machine. We were given All that She WantsThat’s the way I like it and Uptown Top Ranking, but had they produced it the next day It would have been InformerLe Chic (Ces’t Freak) and Could you be Loved. Actually, that sounds quite good…
Is this worse than Slow and Sexy? The production is cheaper, but expectations are lower. They’re both as bad as each other in different ways. If Slow and Sexy is a big budget Hollywood flop (say CutThroat Island), then this is the Neggae equivalent of a cheapo British comedy starring Danny Dyer and Neil Morrissey. This is the Sex Lives of the Potato Men of Neggae.
I’m pretty sure this is the only Neggae entry that samples another Neggae song (answers on a postcard if I’m wrong) .And while this is entirely in keeping with the Jamaican ethos of versioning and reuse, it is done in such a parasitic manner that it gives sampling a bad name. In fact this isn’t sampling, it’s cannibalism.
Shame on You Ali and Frazier.
Score: 1/10 – purely for the fact that the video may have been shot in the Brixton Market arcades if which I have fond memories.

I am sure I will be forgiven for not investing too much time in this one. My immediate reaction was obviously that this is bad, but in the spirit of the blog I wanted to at least give it some thought. So here all the positives I could come up with:

  • The chorus is a little catchy
  • Everyone of the10 song sampled are OK
  • Its not as bad as Slow and Sexy
  • They have not killed anyone

Score: 1/10. Lets move on quick.

Okay, this is not a good song and it looks like they’ve borrowed some Ace of Base and KC and the Sunshine Band and weren’t even creative about the way they mixed it in. Poor, I’m surprised they didn’t throw in some Shaggy. To be honest, I tuned out fairly early on and there wasn’t much about it that got me back on track.
So we got two very average lady rappers dressed up in overalls in a market setting; the perfect setting for a neggae classic. So many options one might think, they could hop into a convertible jalopy, socialize with the locals have a mango cocktail even dance the night away. But no, we get another lazy and unimaginative video to compliment an equally poor effort!
Score: Put me down for a generous 2/10 – just for turning up, please don’t come back.

I wasn’t aware of this previously but had some hope as I like the original, however the dodgy effect at the video’s start dispel any lingering thoughts of an optimistic bent. The production on this is bad, like a neggae Jive Bunny,  it’s got KC and the Sunshine band, Donna and Althea and then shamelessly the Ace of Bass, it’s all been mashed together and sounds a mess. Ali and Frazier deliver passable vocals, but it’s a straight up karaoke cover with no originality at all. The video is just people berking about in front of a camera at Woking market, looks like an extended Sanatogen advert, uninspiring and sums up the crass nature of this song’s attempted cash in.
Score: Ali and Frazier ‘ You’re joking in Woking’ – 1/10

This is bad, really bad, and not in the yoot’s sense either, just shoddy.
Uptown Top Ranking by Ali and Frazier has nothing to it. They’ve lifted a vocal lick from KC and the Sunshine Band, taken a Reggae classic from Althea Forrest and Donna Reid, Laid the two over some cheap beats and mooched around in a nondescript market with a few pals from Lewisham. To make matters worse they’ve chucked in a sax lick from Ace Of Base All that she wants for good measure. You cant do that! That’s cheating.
The only way I can fathom that this idea came about was perhaps on a pirate radio station? Perhaps some DJ put together the three elements of this piece of thievery in a mix and somebody thought it would pass as a single. It happens from time to time. It was never going to work.
Ali and Frazier have nowhere near the measure of charisma of their namesakes. Not sure which is which but the one who looks a bit like John Fashanu clearly thought this was her big break. Cannot get enough of the camera, almost to the extent of pushing her chum Ali into the one pound fish stall in the periphery. It really is no surprise that this was a short lived career. Don’t tell her I said that though. She’d probably pull out some Fash Ninja moves and smash my teeth in. Actually almost as menacing as Smoking Joe himself.
What would the greatest Sportsman of the 20th Century say about this debacle?
Floats like The Hindenberg, stings like Herpes.
Score: 0 from me.